i never knew i could fake such a smile infront of others.
i never knew i could hide how i felt.
having to settle my emotions in 20mins.

But thanks to the kids and responsibility i had.
i pulled through today.
but im not sure about the night.

But thanks for letting me know.
even though it was indirect.

but i pray the best for you.
and always. so take care.

this will not be our last goodbye.

// so much to say. but im not doing it here. so hopefully you still do check your phone.

sometimes i think i make things harder.
i feel like a bitch.
i feel devil-ish.

but i simply cant ignore or i will probably hate myself forever.
that will make me more evil.

the camp totally drained me.
too many things to cover.

//recharge.

like in a drama.
it happened.

i was caught by surprise.
wanted to say hi.
but was told its okay.

we saw. we met.
all by chance.
he shout to vent.
my emotions went upside down.

we "talked"
he drink.
wanna to give chase. but my legs stopped me.
i contemplated
thinking whether i would regret

im quite sure part of me did.
but still. i had to do it.
not sure wad would happen if i did.

i believes he misunderstand.
but that's not the whole point.

finally i gave in.
i worried.
knowing that's not the best to do.
how stupid can i get.
take care.
wake up, mel.

and like she reads me.
my mum came in with the sunflower
and said:
" look even after it wither. the stalk is still going strong. it didn't bend. be strong. like a sunflower. be happy. "

//till then.

tell me how.

to post means the whole world will read it.
and i dun need that kind of attention.

i know a way to tell. but should i.
even humans wont ignore tt. DONT is my message.

sorry if wad i say is not making any sense.
its suppose to be super vague.

maybe 1 would uds wad im saying.

wanna blog, theres too much i wanna say. but i dunno where to start.

the day always seem easier den the night.

/// till next time.

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