if things could be much much simpler..
Suddenly l.o.v.e isnt just about 2 person.
i see other factors pouring in.

I guess i knew it right from the start things wld turn out like tt.
but the stubborn me just refuse to face it right frm den.
i never want to give up a battle w/o giving it a try.

but... today. things seem alil different.
I appreciate and really love the "never give up" attitude from you.
I thank you for everything tat happen
but whatever happen ytd seems like a very big warning to me
or more like i see myself falling out with her..
i dun wanna turn into a rebellious person
i know im suppose to fight for the things i love
but how can i fight when everything matters so much to me

How can i fight when suddenly it feels like the ending is set.
(the word is feel)
In fact, i dun see a perfect ending from her
They are stubborn ppl to begin with.
Ppl who doesnt change their minds
Its not as easy as you think
I know you will never give up
but.. being in my shoes how would you feel.
I know the answer would be : i will never give up

but.. im different.
probably im not as mentally strong as you
or maybe im just afraid
maybe only i know them best
but i do not know how to put it across

I do not want things to fall apart.
I do not want to hurt them
A happy ending after a long painful journey.
Nope i do not want them to be sad just to get what i want
How many must i hurt to get what i want
thats too selfish
At least for me.
They matter alot to me

I understand where you are coming from
but shes firm with her stand

I need you to understand, whatever happens..
be it good or bad.
happy ending or sad ending
im not like the rest
i will not regret
rather i will thank you for everything that happen

dun live for me. dun live for love
cause your existence matters
and it hurts to knw that if there is no love i would rather not exist ever again

I see where both of us are coming from.

Exams are officially over. There are loads of things to await for ((: and i can start doing things that i love.

Met up with roy the day before and did some catching up. Went out with idam ytd to chill and walk around.

RAR. I have to plan my timetable within 2 days. Hopefully, the school will allow me to reg. my subjects earlier since i will in Korea during that time =x
Anyway i was on the bus today when i saw an advertisement that caught my eye. It goes like this:

Breathe in:
Hope
Life Securities
..

Breathe out:
Pessimism
Insecurities
...

How true.!

1 day to meeting my partner for meeting agenda
3 days to meeting the girls and jon for steamboat
4 days to desaru recee
5 days to pelepah recee
6 days to subcomm meeting and meeting kimmie.
7 days to Korea
11 days to MY BIRTHDAY.!

((: loves.

ohoh. I have receive my advance birthday present from "dumb2". Waiting for my actual and more more.. i love my birthday. Most of all receiving wishes and presents from my friends and family. i feel extremely loved on that day. i love feeling loved.
I hope to celebrate my birthday in sg with a BANG next year. ((:

the flashbacks were strong. but i guess its possible to handle. im melissa.

thanks so much for your understanding.
thanks for calming me down and letting me know all wld be fine.
thanks for having faith in me ((:

thanks for everything ((:

rar.
want exams to be over soon.
wanna start doing camps with my frens. i miss those times. ((:

those late night debriefs. cold shower. campfire. eating session with all your friends. late night calls to ur frens when ur stuck in a situation. those kids who never fail to put a smile across your face though they do test your patients at times. learning how to communicate with every single one of them in their way and not yours. learn to understand what they want. see how they grow and change during the 3days.

i can still clearly remember how this boy went into camp not wanting to do anything and he even kick fuss about not wanting to pitch the tent. But in the end, he was one of the greatest help tt i cld get. He and his gang of guy frens. Not neglecting the group of girls who were also there. All they need was just alil attention from us. A sense of resposibility does great wonders. that was wad i learn from you.

those thank yous. those goodbyes. i wont forget every single one of them. those experience make me grow. do you all feel the same way too.?

time to start studying.

you probably wldnt be reading this. but i hope you grow out from the hurt tt u had. dun lose confidence in yourself. you are gonna be fine. ((: lifes short. live it to the fullest. you are a great person.

Wierd thoughts.

My parents departed for their 2nd honeymoon this morning.
woohoo. hope they enjoy themselves over at bintan and bring home loads of gifts.

For me, i like the peace tat i have at home now as it allows me to study much better. The best part is my brother has no choice but to become more independent in whatever he does for the next 3 days. ((: and im loving it.

Have you ever thought of this..
Who do u think is more "fortunate".?
A girl who grows up and look more like a guy or A guy who grows up and look more like a girl ?

To me, i think the latter is better. At least that guy can be known as a pretty boy. And most pretty boys are lovable. What do you think?

A thought to set you thinking...

Random.

Im still very much in love with their songs... and the band itself ((:
There's something different about them.
and i cant exactly point out what it is. MLB jiayou ah.!

Was it the effort they take to maintain a personal touch with their fans/ them being more down to earth or... that make them so different.

RAR. I still have a mountain of work to clear. and somehow i feel like im not living in reality. its a weird feeling but i cant put it in exact words. =x

-Mel ((:

dont bother to plan. you really dont have to. im gonna be busy and i know it. your thoughts are greatly appreciated.

And when i said that friends come first, it doesnt mean that ur a spare tyre. rar. never mind.

and when i say WHAT. it doesnt mean im piss. its just the way i say it.

I thought you could at least understand/know where im coming from but i guess i was wrong all along. It just seems like everything is all about toleration.
and yesh. the word understand.

Suddenly, i think i probably just dont understand you too.

Birthdays..

Rar!
One of the most important and one of the few things that i always look forward and get excited over once every year.

Birthdays...
I hardly celebrate it in Singapore. I can vaguely remember celebrating once when i was in kindergarten. Twice when i was in primary school. Once when i was in secondary school and once when im in Jc.

And where was i every other year?
1. In the airplane sleeping
2. Overseas
3. Overseas
4. Overseas
5. More Overseas.

This year.. its gonna be the same once again. Overseas. Everyone says: " wah! so lucky ah! get to go overseas during your birthday.!."

yeahs. i know im lucky and its one of the most expensive present that you can get and im nt taking it for granted. but for another time. i just wanna celebrate it in Singapore with all my friends. just imagine how i felt when i was told that i will not be in Singapore during my Birthday.

Thats how much i want to spend my birthday in this small island with all my friends.

school work is piling.! sheesh.
Sometimes, I wonder if im handling my time well enough. Ultimately, studies still come first. oh wells, i will survive ((: ahahahass

The two reasons why i still manage to hang on when im so tired are: friends and music.
I think i draw energy from my friends around me and even strangers. ((:
Have you ever thought where do you get those never ending energy from when ur super drained and tired? Is there anything that actually drives you to go on and move forward?

Music "charges" up my body. If you get what i mean. Does it happen to you?

I miss hanging out with the girls.! RECESS WEEK IS COMING.! Time for meet ups! =P

i feel like climbing. now.

politics
i never like that word but i guess its something you cant avoid. and i see it happening now. Its hitting those around me.
I dont like wad i am now, not being to make a stand. cos for once, i'm not clear about my stand as everything seems right if u look from different angle. I think we should just look at the bigger picture.

I see the issue happening again. I thought things were going to turn out better. its probably my fault to have sacrificed the time that i cld have spend with you on other things. maybe im nt handling all the things well enough. but im sure those things are just not other things. but i guess it works both ways. Our timing just cant fit. And when it does, other factors are being thrown in.

Will you give me your most sincere support.?
I know its difficult and selfish for me to ask for it. I know that i shld put myself into your shoes. I know.. I know.. I know..

Nights.

Argh. Sandfly bites are terrible.

Thanks Sam and korkor for the taiwan montage.
gosh. i miss those 7 days there. It was pure fun! Im awaiting for the next trip. Love ya all.! ((:

Had firelight recee at Ubin today. Everything went well. i suppose. Im awaiting for next week. woots ((: Come firelight, come. hahas. The NDP performance was nice too. the Black knights were great but i still miss the fireworks. I wanna see it real LIVE.

Minds cafe Next... whheeee...

Night Cycling was fun.
Surprise the belated birthday girl during that night ((:

Its good how the girlfriends are drawing closer these days. loves.

Love the Night lights and Breeze.

This week have been crazy.
Whatever that happen-ed haven rrly quite sink into me. i felt like i was filming a movie. but either way it wasnt a gd experience for me. I never imagined that a day like that would happen to me. but i guess its time i have to make a decision. Its time to grow up (like what you said)

Anyway, i'm glad that my girlfriends were there to help me =D love you, darlings.

Sidetrack alil. i just received an email from my lecturer. and the last part goes like this...

See you Monday - I suggest that you dig out your old CBC113 notes and take a quick look through them at the weekend.

argh. i dont like organic chem.
time for night cycling later.

CASTOR (:

Okies. I actually miss the ppl in castor and wish that the camp was alil longer.
FOOT'o8 ROCKS! (:

They were a great bunch of ppl to hang out with although the rain follow us wherever we go. Their laughter, their highness, the encouragement given, the memories that were created are somethings that i will never forget.

I see how we manage to bond and fight together as a team to win in some games.
Im glad to be part of FOOT'08. To be part of CASTOR.

Thanks CASTOR ((: LOVES.

For now, Taiwan HERE I COME.! ((:

FOOT 08

FOC is coming! ((:
HOORAY. gonna have loads of fun.
BUT...
Im lazy to pack my bag. I have been wanting to pack since 2 days back. -.-
I have yet to pack my luggage for taiwan too.
and i only have 1 day after my FOC to do that if i dun start packing tml.
shucks.
SOMEONE help me. PLEASE'

dad bought me a camera ((:

Dancing...

1. I found this online while searching for something else. And it seems quite interesting.

Sinema Old School is the first and only high-definition cinema solely devoted to Singapore films. This truly indie 130-seater cinema space also hopes to be a permanent venue for local bands’ breakout gigs, technology workshops and master-classes, film forums and dialogue sessions.

Okies. I didnt know a place like this existed in singapore, existed in TOWN. Plus the tickets price are way cheaper and the shows featuring there seems interesting.

Check it out!
Website: http://www.sinema.sg/oldschool/

2. SINGfest 2008

Ahh. I feel like going! But the tickets seem ex =x Its on fort canninng park on 2nd and 3rd August =/ Gawd. Recently i feel like doing so many things! ((:

It gonna be a crazy week working at bishan stadium ((: but im gonna enjoy every moment of it looking at children jumping, running and throwing. hahas.
Oh wells. After 12 july, im gonna be super busy cos its gonna be FOC followed by grandma's bdae followed by taiwan trip followed by the last few days to enjoy my holidays before school officially starts. hehes.

Anyway, its been great meeting up with aiting, lejia, wesley and long bean that night! I think we ate like super alot. From kenny rogers >> NYDC >> KFC (didnt eat anything at KFC)
As usual, we had loads of updates! ((: Remember class gathering at EOY and holiday?!
Will post some photos soon when i get it from Wesley!

Now, I'm thinking about how to celebrate my 20th birthday this year though it is months away. Any Suggestions?
(No more BBQ at my house, if possible)

I wanna meet up with some of my darlings b4 sch starts too! haven seen them in a while.!

Oh yah! Momo should have arrive in singapore now! FINALLY. =D

Countdown: 22 days.

woots. off to my little chalet and meeting up with them tml and WWW ((: *beams*

Im a happy girl today. Jenna brighten up my day. hahahas.

i think i just gt more tan today. ((:

Went to work at the Inter-Primary School Track and Field meet. I was in charge of the High Jump together with some others.
Had loads of fun watching the primary school kids running and jumping. Seriously, i doubt i can jump like the way they did. hahas. They were awesome. Some had great and nice landings too.
All of them are rather TALL too ((:

Gonna go and do up my long over due trek report.

Nights!

im back.!

Been busy with loads of stuff these few days. So yupp.
Was busy with CIP (BASU). Seriously, im glad that all went well ((: Plus, it was also a learning experience for me. so yupp.
The best part is every time i think back about the kids, about the camps, i smile =D
A big thanks for those who help out and make it a success!
I love the kids. Like seriously. They are so much fun to be with. If only.. If only the camp was alil much longer. I hope they enjoyed themselves as much as i did.

Went back to inno to do belaying ((:
saw many many kids. make many many friends. i guess it only make me realise how much i miss being a trainer. However, if camps were more like BASU it would be good. Its not that BASU is perfect (cause its not), theres room for improvement.
Somehow, the feeling is different. But still, BASU makes me realise how much i miss having fun with the kids and being a trainer, so does belaying.

I have never ponder much about the word facilitating. But i have heard friends asking wad does facilitating means and i was even ask questions about that.
I believe everyone learn much more about facilitation through camps etc.. But i guess the only thing that is different about me is that i have never think so much. I just enjoy and love what i do and i wanna get better at conducting camps and interacting with kids and learning how to do camps my own way, my own style.
Its that simple. Thats probably why when im faced with complex questions, i get stucked. But wells, maybe one day.. just one day i might be on par with my boyfriend (Minus the very hands on technical part). LOL.

I wanna go back. But theres not much time left. If only i can do just one more camp before school starts with my kakis ((: That would be good. An almost perfect ending to my holiday.

it was never about the money but the passion that is burning in me.

ZOO!

.. it was fun ((: hahas.
there were so many kids there ytd and they remind me of myself when i was much younger. hahas.
The best part of it all is i get to spend the whole day with darling becca.

OH. i think i just miss the date CDC release the slots for practical lesson. sheesh. i have to wait for another month and... I DUN LIKE IT. i wanna start driving like asap.
The thought of driving makes me feel very excited. =P

Having an ODAC camp in sch tml after thatt its Idam's sis wedding on Sunday.

Gonna watch kong fu panda later! hooray!
Time for some photos..

Pumpfest Fun Climb : Shou Zhi, Me, Wanting, Jess (From Left to Right)

The Zoo outing Peeps : Darren, Me, becca, Samuel ((:

Me and darling, becca! <3sss

Look at the BIG RED BUTT. cute rite!!

My all time favourite: HIM. ahh!! i wanna give him a big, fat hug! =D

he said "...i can see you smiling in ur sleep!"

MORNING.!

gt my results ytd. 2 words: Super satisfied. Its over my expectations. ((: and im super happy with it.

so now, im gonna head to the zoo with becca, becca's bf, and becca's bf fren.
This outing is gonna be super interesting cos other den becca i dun rrly know the rest well. bt heres my chance to know them better.!

And.. More photos with my polar bear... LOL. Be back tonight....

3 crazy days of pumpfest have finally ended.
Though it was tiring working the whole day but the experience was good ((:
The climbers from Mens and Womens Open were WOAH!.. Actually, i cant wait for next year's event to start and im kinda inspired to climb more.

Now, im rotting at home. Finding some job to do. Hopefully my application for events would be successful.
Oh yah! im going to Taiwan during July with some of my odac friends! Woots. Cant wait! =D

Semester results would be out tonight too ((: i wonder how its gonna be =x

Time to go out with him. Will post some pictures up tonight.

Oh yah! b4 i forget! Have a safe flight jess! =D hehes.

bored..

yupp. some of the photos from the previous outings..

That's us plus swt ((:

CRABS! yummy! ((:

Chocolate crepe

Warm chocolate cake! MY FAV.

i forgotten wads the name but it looks like wanton.

That's us. Me and swt. i kinda like this picture.

And they say i look like speed racer =x

Todays a boring day. I do nothing but watch dramas on the computer and to stay at home cause apparently i haven been home much and recently when im out, mum cant help but keep callin me =x

shall end this post for now. more tml.

Some photos from SLJMRYK BBQ. ((:

Introducing Bean boozled. Our forfeit for the night (Check it out!)

Notice the Flavours.! vomit, baby wipes. skunk spray... you name it we ate it =x

Next presenting to you SLJMRK...

SLJMRYK: Feng ((:

SLJMRYK: Mel =D

SLJMRYK: YC :)

SLJMRYK: Rach =)

SLJMRK: Jess =P
Missing: Kim (Shes in Aussie), Wanting ( Her photo is in fengs camera =/)

hahas. after 3 straight days of meetings at amk we finally finish our biz plan! hooray.
Met up with wanting, jess, jun xiong, wee hian and shou zhi for NICE SEAFOOD dinner ytd.! To be exact, we ate for 4 straight hours and i came back feeling very full.!
To all who are reading, if you guys love seafood try the crabs at AMK Blk 233, Mellben Seafood Restaurant (Opp. Sheng Shiong)
After that we headed down to thomson for some dessert at some chocolate shop. Woah. The warm chocolate cake is super good.! Will post the photos once i get it from sz.
had a short talk with swt too. did some thinking and i still dunno wad i should to. still feeling alil lost.
i guess it came to a point of time where i do not want to just follow the flow anymore.
If only sth could trigger my thoughts and make me realise what i really want.

SENTOSA TOMORROW!! ((:

woohoo!

I pass my Basic Theory Test ((:
( raymond, i dun owe you dinnner! )
hahas. I can finally start driving soon. Wells, had a few bad news today.

1. My hall application is unsuccessful. booo.
2. Aiting told me that she cant make it for lunch this saturday
3. I still cant apply for my practical lessons =x

On a lighter note, there are many better things that happen too.

1. I managed to change my FTT from 22 july to 8 july =D
2. My group's business plan is almost done
3. I can start driving soon
4. Im having seafood dinner on friday
5. Sentosa on Sunday

Weekends have been rather happening.

Saturday

Sljmryk met up for a bbq at my house. ((: did some catching up and its great that everyone is doing well now.
kimmie called us from aussie too! =D Hopefully all of us get to go overseas tgt someday! Its gonna be interesting.

Sunday

Slept like 5 hours the night b4.
In the morning, i went for basic theory e-trial test at CDC. After which, i met huat, sam and momo at marina to catch Chocolate.The show is about this girl who learn Muay Thai.
The best part was every fighting scene in the show was REAL. No computer tricks were used. Just imagine you have to fall 3 stories down and while doing that you hit a few sign boards and the ground. -OUCH-
Next, we went to play pool and had dinner at tian xiao er.
Okies, my pool skills is getting from BAD to WORST =x

Sentosa this coming Sunday and i can meet the rest of the ODACians. woots. ((:

((:

i have officially completed my 1 week intensive entrepreneurship course.
In short its interesting, intensive and tiring. Some speaker can be rather boring too. =x
And all of us have to hand in a biz plan by 26th June. Hell week, next week. Argh.

On a lighter note, MLB will be performing at Ngee Ann City on the 24th and im meeting my jc mates in town on the 24th. tsk tsk. ((: So thats something i can look forward to next week.

I cant get my research done cause exploit-tech.com is screwed. It keeps giving me the proxy error thing and nothing happens even if i refresh it. I think too many ppl are surfing the website =x
How am i suppose to get my research done by tml afternoon? AHhhh.

Entrepreneurship

A few things happen last week ((:
i shall sum it up with photos and captions..

3rd May - 4th May

Thats where i went.. ENDAU ROMPIN.!

1st stop! Beakfast at BEKOK. The number of flies there were -.-"

PRESENTING to you... TREK comm.! ZAI! ((:

Thats how we spent our time there.. Playing Heart Attack V2. Its damn fun! =D

The bridge.

Nice.

Highlight of the trip! WATERFALL.

Theres actually nicer pics of the magnificient waterfall. Will post it once i get it frm zq.

6th May

Had dinner there.. Celebrated Jasmine's Birthday!
SEAFOOD pasta.
RINGO.!

Jasmine, the belated birthday girl and her present ((:

(she was ask to bite piglet's ears =x)

From Left to Right ( Praga, Connie, Me, Aiting, Joanne, Rongcan)

<3ss

The girls! ((:

The Crazy us attempted to jump ((:

10th May

MJC ODAC BBQ! ((:

At Jav's house ( jav and his sis)

Birthday guys and girls ((:

A Picture Speaks more den a thousand words ((:

Love them to bits! =D

Now. Im stuck in school for 1 whole week having intensive entrepreneurship course. gosh. With upcoming projects and business plan, next week is gonna be SUPER CRAZY.

On a lighter note, bouldering, BBQ and seafood dinner is coming up. Probably climbing and paintball too. I cant wait.! ((:

Time to bathe and go grab some dinner. Im hungry.

Nights.

P.A.S.S.I.O.N

that is what im gonna do the next few months (:

Yesterday

Celebrated Jasmine's bday after exams. woohoo.! surprised her with a birthday cake (BIG thanks to dione and glenn for that)
Headed to town to catch harold and kumar.

1. The show is like super lame
2. Its totally censored
3. A good show for those who just wanna chill and laugh

After which it was dinner at Manhatten Fish Market.! hahas. nice food. i love the platter <3>

Today

Went down to kovan to cut my hair before i leave sg this saturday for endau rompin. Next, met up with roy to teach him SETS. SETS make him super stress-ed. Anyway, im glad he managed to understand the whole topic now. *cheers. Plus, it was super long since i last saw him so it was really great catching up with him.

Seriously, im amazed with our friendship. From friends to lovers den to foe and back to friends again.

To you: i hope you treasure this friendship of ours as much as i do and lets meet up soon kay! i want more updates. hahas.

Okay. Time for pictures..

Thats the six of us. Crazy girls but i love them (:

More friends.Birthday Girl.

JASMINE.!
Our Powerpuff girls of the day!Thats me. she just decided to pinch my cheeks =/

1 more day (:

woohoo.

tml at this time i will be having fun. cant wait for the finals to be over.
oh wells. these few days are all about mugging, eating, watching tv and more mugging, eating and watching tv. daily routine.

To do list:

1. Odac's CIP
2. My long overdue trek report =/
3. Bbq with sljmryek
4. Catching up with my friends
5. Paintball
6. Diving
7. Sport Climbing level 1
8. Mahjong
9. Movies
10. etc...

Plus, i wanna go on a holiday.

hahas. so little time, so many WANTS. do u think i can complete all of them?

On my way..

to 3 full months of fun.!

im addicted to king kong jane's "If it wasnt for you".

countdown: 3days.