i never knew i could fake such a smile infront of others.
i never knew i could hide how i felt.
having to settle my emotions in 20mins.

But thanks to the kids and responsibility i had.
i pulled through today.
but im not sure about the night.

But thanks for letting me know.
even though it was indirect.

but i pray the best for you.
and always. so take care.

this will not be our last goodbye.

// so much to say. but im not doing it here. so hopefully you still do check your phone.

sometimes i think i make things harder.
i feel like a bitch.
i feel devil-ish.

but i simply cant ignore or i will probably hate myself forever.
that will make me more evil.

the camp totally drained me.
too many things to cover.

//recharge.

like in a drama.
it happened.

i was caught by surprise.
wanted to say hi.
but was told its okay.

we saw. we met.
all by chance.
he shout to vent.
my emotions went upside down.

we "talked"
he drink.
wanna to give chase. but my legs stopped me.
i contemplated
thinking whether i would regret

im quite sure part of me did.
but still. i had to do it.
not sure wad would happen if i did.

i believes he misunderstand.
but that's not the whole point.

finally i gave in.
i worried.
knowing that's not the best to do.
how stupid can i get.
take care.
wake up, mel.

and like she reads me.
my mum came in with the sunflower
and said:
" look even after it wither. the stalk is still going strong. it didn't bend. be strong. like a sunflower. be happy. "

//till then.

tell me how.

to post means the whole world will read it.
and i dun need that kind of attention.

i know a way to tell. but should i.
even humans wont ignore tt. DONT is my message.

sorry if wad i say is not making any sense.
its suppose to be super vague.

maybe 1 would uds wad im saying.

wanna blog, theres too much i wanna say. but i dunno where to start.

the day always seem easier den the night.

/// till next time.

BLOGSHOP

Hey friends!

Need more website on online shopping?
More is better den less ((:

Been looking at the same style of clothes from the same seller.?
Need a change?!

CHECK THIS OUT!

My friend has just created a blogshop. Do go and check it out and show your support by buying the clothes if you like them.

IF there is nothing in this collection that catch your eye. You can always check out the next collection and place yourself on the mailing list ((:

loves. Thank you so much! ((:

OHOH! It would be great if you can help to spread the word around! ((:

www.noneinexcess.livejournal.com

Updates!

Okies. I have all that i wanted under my birthday list! ((: Thanks! loves.

Mel ((:

Sometimes watching a show, makes you feel like living your life like that.
Occasionally, wishing somehow it was like that. how good it would be.

Time to snap out of it.
Cause reality is normally the other way around.

I am feeling alil messed up. not sure whats happening

Updates.

WISH/WANT/NEED LIST

1. Laptop Sleeve
2. A swatch leather watch (kinda know which 1 i want)
(actually any brand of simple and nice leather watch also can, just NO bling bling PLEASE)
3. Ipod Touch
4. Timbuk 2 bag - a nice bright colour?
5. Shopping bag
6. Havianas
7. 2010 Diary
8. Anything PRACTICAL.

RAR. Theres so many movies that i wanna watch.
1. New Moon
2. Ninja Assassin
3. Christmas Carol
4. 2012
5. Mulan

4 down, 2 to go!! ((: loves.

Finally i can relax alilttle.
Pack my luggage and settle the remaining stuff and also study!

So wads your definition of exam?

To me, its suppose to test your knowledege.
Isn't 1.5 hard question is enough to determine the cream of the crop. You dont need the entire paper to be so difficult.
Come On, boost your own students morale.
Dont tell me you wanna stretch our potential to the max. Cause its nonsense. Or at least that's not what is happening to your students.

Afterall, you are professors. you are teachers. you are suppose to educate your students, teach them, impart your knowledge, see them grow and not "KILL" them during exams.
Plus, you were a student before.

Setting a difficult paper defeats the whole purpose.
It only results in more people sinking into depression, committing suicide and prof getting stab.

Just imagine you alr put in your best, studied so hard for it, prepared so well and the moment you look at the paper. you get super demoralize. you panicked. and ta-dah that is the end.

Okies. Not that all the above happen to me but it was based on whats happening to friends around me.

Professors, teachers and teachers to be.
what are your definition of exams?

Updates:

WISH/WANT/NEED LIST

1. Laptop Sleeve (I want a good good one)
2. A swatch leather watch (kinda know which 1 i want)
(actually any brand of simple and nice leather watch also can, just NO bling bling PLEASE)
3. Ipod Touch
4. Timbuk 2 bag - a nice bright colour?
5. Shopping bag
6. Havianas
7. 2010 Diary
8. Anything PRACTICAL.

1 more shopping bag shld be fine with me. RAR. i think.
I'm so not use to typing a wish list.

Come to think of it. i have yet to try eating teppanyaki, @ bedok 81. Hmm more nice hawker food and dessert place. More Seafood. Ohoh! Haven ate at a very classy place before.
I wanna go climbing, wakeboarding. RAR.

okies. Im getting super random.
Thanks to all of you i feel very loved and blessed and happy. Be it with surprises, gifts, the concern, the assurance, the advice. THANKS ((:
Esp grandma and my parents.
Mum and Dad have been super encouraging and assuring ytd after i rant at them.
Plus i kinda gave them a shock cos they thought sth bad happen to me.
Their touch, the pat on the shoulder, the hug, the talk.
They even brought me for a good dinner. And for once after a few years, i can talk to them so frankly and freely. I miss being so close to them. I really miss that feeling. Thanks and loves.

1 down, 5 to go.
RAR.

Hurry End.

I want my birthday to come.
I wanna fly to HK ((:

I finally got to see the menu.
Got response for my balloons too ((:

And my parents are off to bintan again.!

Email Relatives - done
Sending out enquires for helium balloon - done
Attendance - 3/4 done
Catering - In process
Study - Doing
Ranting - Done
Feeling Better - Definitely

Calling WQ - Undone
More studying - Undone
Chasing of bal. reply - Undone
Deco - Any nice soul wanna help me get the deco? if not, 4th dec is crazy shopping

Im feeling so much better with so many things DONE.
Thanks friends for the prompt reply. It really saves me the hassle. ((: loves.

Planning and organising a party can be crazy during the exam period. but.. I will survive! Cos as long as you love doing it, nothing is a dread.

MEL POWER! ((:

This thing you called LOVE.

I see couples in sch, walking down orchard road, family bringing their kids around to play.
I have seen close friends breaking up and getting attach.
I even know some who don't believe in the existence of true love.
Yet, i have met some who are deeply madly in live with each other.

Is who you are with now, your heart's last stop?
How do you know that he/she is your heart last stop?
If one could always find new love after a breakup, when do you know when to trust your heart that it has found its last stop?

Not that i have stop believing in love, but love is such a complex thing to comprehend. maybe.. just maybe.. like wad she say... there's a module more difficult than chemistry.

back to study.

loves,
mel ((:

WISH/WANT/NEED LIST

Heres the WISH/WANT/NEED LIST and DONT NEED LIST. =/
Have been thinking about what i really need and what ya all can get for me.

Conclusion: Not really succeeding. cos i realise i dun rrly need anything at the moment. maybe, i just cant think of it. instead, maybe theres a few want.

So here it goes! and DO LET ME KNOW WAD YOU ARE GETTING FOR ME cos.. i dun wish to receive DOUBLE gifts and waste ur $.

* i will continue to update the list as the days goes by
** Alternatively, you can tell me your budget and i can see wad i want that fits into your budget. Thats if you do not want to crack ur brain and think of wad to buy.

WISH/WANT/NEED LIST

1. Laptop Sleeve (I want a good good one)
2. A swatch leather watch (kinda know which 1 i want)
(actually any brand of simple and nice leather watch also can, just NO bling bling PLEASE)
3. Ipod Touch
4. Timbuk 2 bag
5. ?Going out bag =x
6. ?NUM singlet ?Havianas

DONT WANT LIST

1. Puzzles
(Though i love them but i have gt no more place in my room. booo)
2. Mug
3. Wallet
4. Soft Toy
5. Car Accessories
6. Alcohol
7. PSP/Wii

* I wouldnt mind some accessories but its just that my parents and grandma are getting them for me already. If you wanna change my style and get me 1 of those long long necklace, i seriously wouldnt mind. wahahahhas ((:

More updates tonight.

Till then.

loves,
Mel ((:

i kinda promise my friend that i will put up a WANT/WISH list soon.

Since most of them will be busy studying for their finals, i dun wish to see them cracking their head, thinking of wad to buy for me. So, i will be making this birthday an exception.

But/Though, i would prefer you all to crack ur heads and decide wad to buy for me and give me a surprise bday present.
The joy and excitement of opening up your present, and not knowing wads inside ((: loves.

Till then.

loves,
Mel ((:

Im awaiting for my 21st! Im awaiting to celebrate it with all of you! ((: LOVES.

bitchy.
i think test brings out the worst in "friends".!
seriously i wouldnt mind if i see the effort but i didnt. I didnt even feel it. dun take us for granted. dun take our friendship for granted. i can be nice but that is so much tt i can tolerate. so stop doing this to me! stop destroying what is left of us! RAR!! im irritated with wad has happen.

okies. i feel much better.

and thanks girl for all the concern. i felt it and i acknowledge it! thanks ((: loves!

and you... the stripy !!@#$%^.!!
stop giving tt stupid smile on your face.! stop trying to be nice to ur boss. arsehole.! RAR. SCREAMS!!!!
ok! its not entirely the ~!@#$%^&*!! fault but still...!@#%^*()_+!!!!
period.

SHOUTS:
i have a brother who games everyday and yet can score 6A1s, 2B3s and 1B4. so proud of him and how i wish i could be like him. wahahahas. loves! well done, bro!

1 semester is almost over! total madness! 2nd round of midterms are coming and after tt its gonna be the finals! FOCUS MEL! ((: hahahs.

And after which there are so many things worth waiting for. 21st parties, Hong kong+ macau+ zhu hai, 4th Kids Science Camp, Christmas.... woohoo! loves. ocip im coming, very very soon!

ohoh! if ur free and wanna get away from the books, head down to night safari.!! their Halloween theme is FANTASTIC! thumbs ups! loves.

Thanks for all the concern the past week! ((:

Heres the summary of my fabulous past 2 weeks!

Underwater World! ((: still loving the marine life.

HUGE octopus! hahas! if only i could eat it! wahahas!

this devil tried to scare me and yesh, he completed his mission! RAR!

Wrong Expression but whatever. wahahahs

Thanks! ((: loves.

woohoo!

gt what i wanted.
KSC CGL ((: loves.

underwater world-ed.
4D magic-ed.
loves.

Been a good girl over the weekend since my parents are at bintan having their ummm.. 3rd/4th/5th? honeymoon. wahahahs! how cool can my parents get. and they are heading back home now.

seafood was great ytd! thanks ppl.!
wanna ktv again and badminton and maybe climbing. anyone? wahahahahs.

hope this dry throat goes away soon! RAR. dun like it at all.

loves,
mel ((:

LOVES

Arcade + bowling + steamboat/fondue + Heart 2 heart talk = LOVES ((:

Anyway, HAPPY CHILDRENS DAY! =D
Finally a day out with all 6 of us there.! hehes((:
been so long since we hang out like this. feels good!
3 years of friendship and counting...

The thing i love about them is: With them, you can just be you.

you can do all the silly stuff in the world w/o worrying that others will laugh at you because before anyone else can laugh/judge you, we would probably be laughing in our own world and and.. there will always ppl who will do silly things with you.! wahahahas.
Somehow, the embarrassment will just disappear.

When you need someone there, they will be.
I cant describe how much they mean to me.!

thanks dears! ((:

loves,
MEL ((:

CBC 922
CBC 314
922 Project
Expt 8 Lab report.

So much about holidays.

Hope berkelah is going on well.! ((:

NO Monday blues

4 more days to recess week ((:
im kinda looking forward it so that i can have a good rest!

in a blink of an eye, haf a semester has passed.
so, wad have i done?
nothing much, i would say. other den meet ups and more meet ups.
not being so active in ODAC has given me so much more free time but yet, i feel like i have wasted it.
I wanna start being active again. to do something different this time round.
lifes short, i dun wanna waste it.
stop hesistating, mel.!

lab report seems never ending. the units are driving me nuts. not sure if i did it correctly.
RAR.
On a side note, thanks gf, bff, kor. i feel loved by you all. always giving me what i want, fulfilling my cravings. Also, occasionally, listening to my rants and giving me lil treats.!
Thanks! =D

loves,
MEL((:

yeahs! i can finally upload some photos! loves ((:

Its real =D

THE "EYES"

MJ ODAC! =D
hahas. yuan yuan was covered!

Schools kinda fun these days, though at times its school-home-school.!
Friends make lesson more interesting. Plus these days, me and dione are busy thinking where to hold our birthday! hahas.
Time to plan my birthday! woohooo! shall get it done b4 exam starts. Im excited! ahahas ((:

((:

RAR.
cant post any photos again.! =x

met with mj odac for v ball, bball, frisbee plus loads of catching up.
it was loads of fun! Thanks How Ee for initiating.! ((:
And su and i had our lil adventure while we were hp-less. classic. wahahahas.

Its good to know that everyone is doing well in school, including the guys.
loves. With friends like them around, my life is totally colourful ((:
i may not be super close to every single one of you but YOU have make a difference in my life in way or another and YOU are IMPORTANT to me.
im awaiting for the next meet up!

you said this " with friends like you all, i dun need a blog to rant."
such a simple sentence, yet warming to my heart ((:
loves loves.

P.S. Kop-ed my blog pic from Cody while looking through the overseas photos that he posted on facebook. so credits to him! wahahas. =D

((:

Bye Natural Curl. I will see you in 1.5 years time =]

lab report- still not done. =x

Now im into the 3rd week of school.
Time is passing by super fast. woohoo! loves. =D

Have been driving to school for almost 2 weeks now.! Thanks dad for the car! It really do make a difference. ((:
With that, i also got to see the other side of ppl.
Not that i do not know about its existence. but it brought me close to it. and im disgusted by that.
Please dont let me doubt about our friendship. I dunno how long i can hold on to.
RAR.

Schools been great!! love meeting those crazy friends of mine. Though the time spend tgt is getting lesser and lesser as the years goes by, im glad that we took the effort to meet up. more more.!
and thanks ping for letting me join her during 934 if not i would have to rot somewhere alone during the lect. LOL

On a side note, school's great! love the meet ups and gatherings.
Tonight will be ODAC Annual General Meeting. Jiayou Aveline and KS and all that will be running for the next 14th comm.! ((:
For me, its time to close this chapter of my life and move on. Though this chapter may not be the happiest one of all but its definitely the most enriching part of my life. A part that will never be forgotten because i got to discover much more about myself and my limits, make loads of friends and hopefully i manage to make an impact in just a person's life. Thanks for all the guidance, dears.
Sometimes i turn back and wonder if things would turn out better if we both have put in slightly more effort cos i dun rrly like the way things are now. One thing for sure, we/me/i shld not have give up on you. and that was my biggest mistake. what about yours?

Lifes too short for regreat. i just want to make full use out of it. Time to move forward. Lesson learnt.

HAPPY!

((:

Thanks! Im enjoying every bit if my life now.
May a 3rd miracle happen! =D

Routine.

UE, I WANT YOU!
UE, I NEED YOU!
UE, I LOVE YOU!

UE UE, please come to me alrights? ((:

and blogger is back to normal.

1. Blogger is still screwed.
2. My ankle has yet to fully recovered. Though i can walk but after 1 day of walking it still hurts.
3. Birthday venue is a hassle. I wanna break away from chalet and bungalows. Unless its NSRCC. tsktsk. Plus if you know me well enough, i really do CARE about my birthday this year. Its not because its my 21st party. RAther, its one of the rare times that i gt to celebrate it in SG. Mum was suggesting aloha loyang @ one of the bungalows. Any suggestions/comments?
4. Reimbursement is not done-ed.

Smiles.
1. INSTEP application is open. Time for research. tsktsk. hopefully this time round i can get it. hehes.
2. Grandma birthday celebration is today! Gatherings.
3. Direction for my next 1 year. Done-ed. I manage to find a win-win situation.
4. Start of new semester! ((: Crazy days ahead! loves.

Theres many more things worth smiling for ((:

okies. blogger layout is screwed. first i cant upload any photos. next, this. RAR.

ohs. i just TRIED to cancel my M1 line. but the sales personnel just did a great and fantastic job in getting me to keep my line at NO CHARGES. Im amazed. such wonderful offer from them. how can i ever resist such temptations. hahas. ((:

im having cravings for seoul garden. steamboat, actually. sakae sushi buffet. anyone anyone? wahahhas.
Mellben seafood is calling out on me. call me greedy. but.. i love food ((:

back to washing my car. haven been bringing super junior out for the longest time ever. my mum doesnt allow me to drive cos of my ankle. bboooo. its getting dirty at the basement carpark. RAR.

shuclaramel

Finally met the girls after 2 years. Im glad nothing much has change between us. loves.
ohoh. and it was my first time in ajisen ramen =x

We did loads of catching up and suaning. had loads of fun in the playground and taking photos too.
hopefully meet ups will be more regular and no longer once in a blue moon.

Weekends were great with postfoot! got to hang out with Dyeus! enjoyed myself with them and thanks Dyeus for welcoming me into ur group! After which, headed to small jason's 21st birthday party! Hope he love his present. tsktsk.

ohoh. gonna meet my girls tml ((:

The hangover, here i come!! (:

P.S. I cant upload any photos! nonsense blogger.

FOOT-ED.!

FOOT 09 has ended.
Im glad my term in odac has ended on a happy note minus the part that i black out, sprain my ankle and getting a high fever.
Thanks for all the love, care and concern that is showered upon me. I feel really loved.

FOOT was great. Everybody enjoyed themselves including foot commers. We have come so far together, been thru endless ups and downs, bitchings and arguments for the past 1 year. After all these, im glad that we are still there for each other, helping to cover each other ass and becoming "stronger" den before. No words can describe how thankful i am for having this group of ppl with me. If given another chance, i wouldnt change anything because i believe each one of us are unique in our own ways and its fun working with this team. Although, everyone was worried how FOOT will turn out to be like due to the extreme gender ratio. ( We had more girls den guys, you see) But im glad that we manage to make FOOT a better one and ease the worries that seniors had for us. *3 Cheers*

Sorry that i overtax some of you and had high expectations of FOOT. I hope i didnt put too much pressure on all of you. and yesh. you guys rocks! MEL HEARTS YOU.!
After Post FOOT, it will be the long awaited subcomm retreat! ((: loves loves.

Till then, rest well everybody.!

Thanks to all who came down to FOOT and given us the support in one way or another.

THanks ck and ruyan for all the advices and reminders given to us along the way. really appreciate it! Thanks for all the guidance.

Jason and Esther! The both of you are such a great help to us! thanks for showing and giving us the support the whole time.

GLS. you guys are awesome! Its amazing how you guys push urself throughout the whole 6 days. and the energy and passion that you all have in becoming a GLs were WOAH. kudos.

FOOT commers! you were great, fabulous and fantastic! Though for most of you its ur 1st FOOT.! I hope while working you too enjoyed yourself and gt to learn more about FOOT. Hopefully throughout the 1 year, you had learn new things. See ya all soon! oh did i mention i have the most ATAS logistics ever? loves.!
MY programmers are loves. SWT are WOAH.! PUB, i HEARTS.
Though FOOT may have ended, but lets keep our friendship going! meet up soon!

Come on, Mel ((:
Alil more.! loves.

S few more days to FOOT.

i love my boyfriend.
He's always there when i need to rant.
thank you ((:

yes yes!
TWO 21st Birthday in one weekend! and both are in bedok.!! woohoo ((:
Been long since i met those girls and RINGO. loves.

and and and... i still doubt i can squeeze 30 balloons in my car!! ahh!! How challenging.!

Response for FOOT has been great. wasnt expecting it to come in that fast! Looking at those forms makes me happy. dun ask me why. but i was enjoying the moment when i open up those entries! woohoo! loves.

Everytime when things goes too smoothly i tend to fear much more. For fear that i cant forsee the worst case scenario. but yet... a small part of me still feels happy.

have been hanging out these few days with ppl whom i haven met in the longest time.
FOOT seniors camp have officially ended. Now we are left with the actual one.

AYG officiating was great too minus the disorganised admin, confusing command chain with everyone behaving like im suppose to be the one in power. So, please listen to me. Nevertheless, AYG was an eye opener for me. ((: cant wait for YOG to come.

I finally know tt its over. yet... part of me is hoping for an easy way out. bitch.

Thanks to all that came down for FOOT Overseas Seniors Camp. I totally appreciate it. Hope you guys had fun.!
Thanks for all the valuable feedback tt were given ((:
I hope all of you learn sth from the overseas seniors camp.

MEL HEARTS FOOT09.
lets make the next one a blast!

I LOVE STONG.
MOST IMPORTANTLY! I LOVE GROUP 2.! ((:

Thanks for all the fun, laughter, lame jokes and encouragement.
Im glad all of them enjoyed themselves.
and also im happy with myself.
lets call this sense of achievement.

Those thank yous and gratitude. i appreciate it.
Even if i know this may not be the best for myself but im glad its one of the best for you all. (:
Snorkelling trip next.

bf say its gonna be difficult to be better den him.
but you didnt say its impossible.
so till den, thats where i wanna be.

i wanna be as good as you, as good as him.
him: thanks for all your guidance even till now. continue to grow and shine. this may sound bad but i hope somehow you can meet with a bigger challenge. A challenge that will make you grow to become much better. hahahas ((:

FOOT later. high expectations... of myself.
its that feeling again. i want no unacceptable errors. RAR.

STONG!

ODAC POSE! (:

US! ((:
Top: Daniel
Bottom(From left to right): thiha, jumi, me, yushi, liting, jon,nuru, yadong, sakina.

Everything sounds so tempting =x hmmms.

Im never good with rephrasing my words but yet i cant be too direct at the same time. So tell me. how to get back ____. RAR. mah fan.

STONG tml.! woots!
im so excited. slide. waterfall. and everything that comes along. ahhhh!!
JUMPS.

camps. i hear it calling me. after FOOT.

Super Junior is in town. loves

FOOT. FOOT.

HELLO SINGAPORE, goodbye bangkok.

HER: BKK is LOVE
ME: BKK is FABULOUS

5D5N of BKK together has definitely brought us much closer to each other. and that is really love. ((: 14years of friendship and counting. <3ss
Thank you BKK.

Day 1
We headed to Pattaya. Played Seasports (Parasailing n Jetski) over there. Girlfriend im not reckless ok.?! After that we went to walk around town and took the thai bus. Ended the day by watching THE TIFAANY SHOW. (ladyboys). loves.
they are really pretty. LOOK BELOW. ohoh. if you wanna go to pattaya do stay at BABOONA. Their service is thumbs ups ((:

Day 2
Pattaya-BKK. But before that we had an authentic thai massage. shiok or what. That girl actually fell asleep while she was having the massage. ((: After that was shopping! We went to Pantip Plaza and Platinum Fashion Mall. Sadly, they start closing uber early so we didnt manage to get much clothes. but it was okay. we still manage to walk around. =D If you all are looking for wholesale prices and cheap clothes, platinum shopping mall is a place to go. But do go early.!! ((:

After that we headed to Patpong night market! and i manage to catch a glimpse of girls doing bar top dancing. interesting.

Day 3
Chatuchak Market! Need i say more, we spend almost half a day there shopping ((: Cheap bargains, endless shops. Great food. loves.
In the night, we headed to MBK. Darling got herself a deuter bag at a super resonable price and she uses it to stuff her 2 doremons inside.
I think this was also the day that i approach a security guard who was on duty that day for the thai song called "nobody". and she actually bluetooth it to me. loves. damn nice. Becca still cant believe that i did tt. wahahas.

Day 4
Decided to take a break from shopping. Went to Chao Praya River for some sight seeing. Headed over to the Grand palace and Emerald Buddha. Next stop, was Chinatown! Girlfriend got herself 2 mon-mons and loads of doremons related stuff. Helped her carry one of the mon mon. I got some pooh bear stuff for my car. ((:
Had dinner at chinatown. Shark Fin, Bird Nest, Steamed Prawns in Milk n Veg. Woohoo.! The food was great. loves.
And some tuk tuk guy tried to scam us that day! SLAPS. Lucky we were alert enough.

Rama IV Bridge. Taken while cruising on Charo Praya River.

FOOD FOOD FOOD.!
Chinatown.

Day 5
Went to Erwan Shrine (Four face Buddha) followed by shopping around chitlom. After which we headed to the airport. And and... our flight was delayed for 1hr plus. RAR. The good thing was darling got to spend more time with me! hahas. Right darling? ((:

BKK was loads of fun. If only time didnt pass so fast.!
Thanks dad for fetching me home from the airport at such wee hours. loves.

Girlfriend:
I had so much fun with you la. Those shopping trips. Those bargains we make. Those heart to heart talks. 14 years of friendship and counting. In short, i want to create more memories together with you ((: I wont forget how you try to "violate" me when we were in BKK, how you hook my arm and we walk together under one pathetic umbrella in the rain. LOL.
More travellling trips tgt alrights? and yupp. i had loads of fun with you. Hope you did too. loves.
Lets have more regualr meet ups alrights?
And im still so in love with the song. * I want nobody nobody but you *
POWER LA.

im satisfied ((: loves. thank you.

night cycling. pelepah. bouldering. pumpfest.
that is what i have been doing the past week.

im trying to salvage a friendship. i do not want what im doing now to cost me a friendship. this is too heavy a price to pay. i hope you understand.

suppose to be out with ringo today but i have got things to settle.
tml out with jess swt bernard heryi and friend. loves.

countdown to results: 2 days.
countdown to BKK: 8 days.

ntu odac

FC 28.

Mothers day. loves.
chomp chomp + ping.

I seriously think that i cant work under stress.
The more stressful i feel, the more mistakes i make and the more screwed i am.
and things start to go in the opposite direction.

Anyway, had Night cycling Recee and driving test yesterday. Both went well.!
I passed my test.! woohoo.!

Feel so spoilt. Cause they are gonna get me a car =x
Test drive. Scary or what =x

Past 2 Weeks have been great.!
Went to Botanical Gardens, Zoo and yesterday we headed down to Hort Park.

With you, there is always laughter, smiles, nonsense and sometimes alil argument ((:
The best thing is, i can always feel so relax and forget about stuff. loves.
And your never ending encouragement and feedback. thanks.

Hort Park was great though the walk was super long. We started off at Alexander Arch and ended off at harbourfront.
Walked through the never ending bridges, forest trail, canopy walk, henderson waves, mount faber, terrace garden and the never ending steps.
Hahas. The view of Singapore from the highest point was not bad too. Would love to see how the view at henderson waves would be like in the night too.

Im awaiting for our next adventure.

never ending bridge

Henderson waves

At Singapore Highest Point

us.

driving in a few hours time.
I fear lane changing. =x dont ask me why.

Hopefully Swine Flu wouldnt hit thailand. If not, there goes my trip. SO yupp ((:
been busy these few days planning for bangkok, FOOT.
Next week would be even more crazy.

Will be meeting Ringo tonight at clarke quay to celebrate Rong Can's Birthday.
And it seems like that matter has surfaced once again. Wonder what happen this time round. I hope it wont blow out of proportion.

oh. and i love my Polaroid camera, though i have yet to learn how to use it properly.

driving. gatherings. odac. meeetings. pumpfest. bangkok. officiating course. him.

Different people lie for different reasons.
Some people lie cause they do not want to hurt the ones who are close to them
Others lie to deceive themselves from the truth.

At this moment, are you lying?

.random.

Had loads of fun during inter comm day.
Screaming, laughing and killing my brain cells.

Swine Flu is affecting everyone, including me. RAR.

I think i finally understand wad Jieyang and Ruyan meant when they said that sentence to me. How true. But i believe we can all do it.

I have too high an expectation of myself. and i do not want to disappoint anyone esp those who placed their faith in me and those who are doing this together with me.

Sometimes, i dun like myself when i become a perfectionist. Hope i am not putting any pressure on anyone. If i am, please let me know.

More updates soon. ((:

Goodbye School. Hello Everything else! ((:

Exams Officially Ended ytd. =D loves.
So now its time to start work on FOOT n meeting up with friends.

Wells. I had one of the best day+night ytd.
Went to welfare's room to surprise her for her 21st birthday. Filled her room with streamers and nice2 deco. Well done FOOT. After that was catching up time. ((:
Ohyah! Thanks jing jing for her help too.! W/o her, the surprise wldnt have been such a success.woohoo. xie xie le.

Next was steamboat at Jeans Hall! =D Love the food. love the companion.
And i never knew that there could be so much fun watching television together. wahahahas. Lets do this again ok?

Yesterday was fabulous. Though i had loads of things on my mind. Loads of things to settle and do.
And the next few days would get even better.!
Birthdays, driving, meetings, intercomm day and gatherings...

I think im gonna take up the sports official course. At least i can do something to improve myself during the holidays.

AO, please give me that permit. Let me hear some good news later.

I want to get everything done. I know we can. Right, partner?

exams just took my life away.
and now im feeling bored. bored of studying.

I wanna fly far far away.
Traveling makes me feel happy. I guess its the only time i can escape from reality.

I miss RAR-ing during camps. i wonder why.
I guess that is the time i can be really crazy. or.. i just simply enjoy doing it. but yet.. i dun think i can do that infront of ppl who are much better. expectations? perhaps.

I miss adjam. I miss those smiles on their faces.

Tell me i can be that crazy in FOOT. Tell me that i would do fine with such responsibilities. Cos i want that experience to be one of the best for every single one of them. Including those doing background work. Meaning US.

back to those bloody notes.
BURNING NOW. BURNT BURNT BURNT.! BURN THOSE NOTES.

please, stop giving me problems.

bring me away, far away.

Instax Mini 7S

I want this!! ((:

I hope for a Polaroid camera now.
Its not because everyone is getting it or cause its the IN thing now.

but..
i want it cause im too lazy to look thru my photos and develop any of it. *excuses*
And all my photos are currently in my hard disk.
Actually..
I want to use this to take photos of ppl close to me, the smiles of young children and nice scenery and i want to keep all of it in a nice album.

For my digital camera, i will still continue to spam endless photo in it.

RAR.

I miss film cameras. The excitement of walking into the shop to collect my developed photos and wondering how the photos turn out. and den sorting the pictures out when im back home.

Now, i just throw all my photos in my hard disk.
*touchwood. But if one day my hard disk decides to die on me. Im done for. There goes all my precious photos.

See. thats the good thing of polariod camera! Instant photo! ((: wahahas.

and i see mlb in chronicles. lol.

back to hw102a. RAR.

last lab report done n submitted. woohoo ((:
now, i have to start preparing for my exams.

on a lighter note, bangkok is drawing near. loves.

back to my neglected notes

i dislike the way i think about you.
the way i think when im toking to you.
i cant think str8.
i dislike the way i behave and how emotions can overwhelm me when it comes to you.

i believe you are a challenge given to me
to learn, to grow.
so for that, i thank you (:

I will learn.
learn to control those emotions
learn to be professional
learn to see the better side of you
learn to acknowledge you more
learn to listen to you more
learn to trust you more

even at this moment, im learning.

to you, you and you.
thank you.
I will try my very best. JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU.!

feeling alil bitchy =/

today was a long day. a rather tired and dreadful day.

i think i have problem controlling my temper + EQ in certain situations. I had never been so blunt in my life.

My directness overwhelmed me today.
wrong move.

enough said.

thanks to joanne, xue xin and jonathan! Make my day ended on HIGH note! loves. i need to laugh like this more often. I miss the crazy me.
Thats why i love my friends. They never fail to make me smile
((:

boo. i spend a total of $8.80 on transport today cause blur me misplace my ezlink card. RAR. but.. i eventually found it in my dads car =/

To top it off. i was almost late for class. miss-ed my booth duty (THANKS kang for taking over ((: ) oh. i had to walk one round around my condo cos my access card was tgt with my ezlink, which means i cldnt exit by the back gate. RAR

And i rant and rant.

Meeting mabel, bf and kaz to go JB this friday! seafood dinner! haven seen that babe in ages.
Next would be meeting up with mjc odacians at simpang bedok for dinner on saturday.

loves.
\\

more commitments after exams. i promise.

and did i ever told you. my mum is more anxious den me for my 21st which are MONTHS away cos she is sourcing out the function room for me already. she hasnt stop bugging me about it.
Wells. this is kinda cool. Cos for once i dun haf to plan/organise anything. Thanks Mom! ((:
Downside, i dunno how to get my bf there but since he may not be in sg during that time cos he is gonna be overseas working. den it shldnt be a problem. wahahas =x Right boyfriend? LOL. will see how it goes. maybe.. you can dress up as a waiter and help me out secretly? wahahahahas. ok. im kidding.

but tentatively its gonna be on 4th december! (straight after NTU last paper)
If nt its the following Monday, 7th december.
Come on and party after ur papers! loves.

Oh. and im gonna be in SG for sure. No more air planes on my birthday. Its been long. double loves.

gf was sending me this website for accomodation in hotel in BKK.
I thought its not bad and decided to share it with all of you. so... check it out.!

www.takeanaphotel.com

Its a family run business and the concepts in the room are nice! ((: and to top it all its near to the metro station and its in the city itself! woots.

woah! loves.

gotta get ready for school now! will update again.

Im awaiting for phuket/bali/kelong with FOOT.!
Come on! lets make it true! ((:

Book-ed tickets to bangkok with becca from 28th May - 2nd March. Woots! ((:
and we are going pattaya too!
Exciting exciting.
Cant Wait. Wanna start planning the itinerary but i still got a 214 test this coming saturday. =/ and hs811 wasnt very well done. thats how i feel. Hope all goes well.

AND.. MLB is gonna have a concert this coming 24th April. My last paper is on the 27th April. Sounds tempting. I think i can take a few hours off to watch the concert. Anyone? Wanting?

Ah! Someone please ask me to study! I need to FOCUS badly.
I think its in the genes. I see my own reflection when i see my brother when hes studying. (other den he games whhich i dun but i drama and i blog hop and anything else that comes along)

i miss having a proper social life. cant wait for exams to be over and hols to come. like seriously. den i can meet up with shuclaramel, sljmryk, sujata, sufyan, FOOT- i seriously need to spend more time with them, TREK, MJ odac, becca, UNI clique, aiting jianwen wesley and co...

I wanna do camps with my frens. I wanna RAR RAR. I wanna see the smile on the kids faces. I wanna "grow" but i need a place and familiar frens to start with. i dun wanna go back there.

Randoms

skipped 214 again for HS811. RAR.
1 down. 2 more to go.

This is the craziest week that i have in NTU ever since uni life started. bites.

I need to slow down in life. Dun they look relax and enjoying the moment.

Kids just bring smile and joy into my life. They make me happy.
Look at their red nose! ((:

Happy Birthday, boy! ((:

Hope you enjoyed yourself! loves.

On a side note, i took photo with my fav. band during open house! loves.

if sth major were to happen to you now.

wad will you do? which fren of yours will come to your mind?

Will i come into your mind?

Are names just for show or..
will you be there for me cos its ur responsibility, you have to, or you want to?

dun you wish that you have 1 close gf whom you can bitch everything with. meet up a few times in a week. go shopping with just maybe the 2 or 3 of you. Hang out. Watch movie. Study. Supper. Go backpacking. and at the same time can still lead their own life.

At least i wish i had. Not that i dun have frens close to my heart now. i do. but study, personal life, personal dreams and goals seem to draw us further waay from each other even when we seem to be so "near" each other. Distance sometimes play a part too.

Thus, it makes me wonder.
Sometimes, frens seem to spend more time with their the other halves compare to their frens. i mean its understandable but..

Maybe frens are very important to me. Perhaps even more impt den my bf. sorry bf. tsktsk. =x

okies. im getting all confuse with myself now. i wonder if anyone share the same thoughts as i do. or maybe im expecting too much out of frenship

back to lab report.
but i wish i had a fren like that.

unspoken law. unknown law (at least to me)
Result: Get detained for more than 12 hours.

detained-a very nice word that im using. Infact, lock up sounds more appropriate for that situation. RAR.

Im rather glad that im back here cos the system over there is so bad that NO info/procedure is given to anyone.
Please be grateful that Singapore is such a nice place to be in though its rather small and can be boring at times.
Multi-cultural. Racially-blinded ((:

And for once. Im super bitchy. Thanks to that irritating fellow.

Tml-statment.

Though that is a place that no one will want to be in but it was quite a sight. At timess, ppl on duty suddenly had to became our "maids" when they were suppose to be in command. madness. Seriously, i wonder wad they are doing.

The place became chaotic went ppl started toking and shouting from one corner to another. Frenship/companionship was forge. Ppl panic. Some cried, some went on with sleepless night. Others consoled the emotionally unstable ones. We laughed, we smiled. it was a crazy place to be in.
If theres one place where you wanna see all different kind of emotions in one day. That would be it. but i suggest you do not go there.

Though we lost our freedom. Like totally. but i would say it was an experience BUT its something that no one wants to have a second time.

After one crazy day, i was back in sch. Totally drained and tired.
you will never believe where i was cos it somehow seems unreal.

ohohoh. On a side note, Jerangkang is super nice. Love the waterfall.
pictures the next time.

The girls came over today.
wahahas. The usual catching up and updates ((:
Its gonna be down to five of us in sg after yc leaves for aussie next Saturday. RAR

my head feels heavy the whole day. It must due to all the late nights that im having. this is bad. i need more rest. no more late nights. no more hanging out.

time to get back to my boring life of school work and lab report.

loves.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

COW.

Im having a very busy start to the new year. How about you?
Hope i dun burnt out cos of unnecessary stress. =/

Its been 2-3 days. Its still peaceful. great. im loving it ((: and i thank god for every additional day that i have.
What about you? ((: I have never treasure time like what i did ytd. Though most of the time we end up walking aimlessly and i, not knowing what to do!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!! ((: HUAT AH!
Hope all of you get loads and loads of ang bao! =D

P.S. How are you all going to celebrate your CNY?
Mine? its gonna be filled with loads of gatherings as well as farewells.

Random:

Im never a pleaser. I do not sweet talk to get what i want.

Im frank. I do not like beating round the bush.

White dresses/shorts that can be seen through turns me off.
Just imagine i was in sch and first, i saw their colourful inner wear. Next was slightly better. But i could still see the shape -.- RAR. The third encounter was worst.
People people. totally unglam.

I have never been so into World News but i guess im forced to. I need to know what you are facing. I need to know whats happening out there.

For the second time, i feel kinda scare. The thought just turns me off. I hope 2 weeks will pass w/o a call.

i hope god wont take you away from me/from here. For ONCE, i seriously wish for WORLD PEACE.

P.S. This entry wasnt suppose to make you feel bad/worst or what not. I know what has to come will come ((: loves.

Ever thought about what you wanna achieve in the next 2 years.? ((:
There's so much that i wanna do. Like what you say, im still exploring around. Looking and trying whatever that comes my way.

1. INSTEP for exchange to UK
2. US Camp Counsellor
3. Learn Diving
4. Overseas CIP
   
5. Take up a weekly sport
6. Backpack
7. Start thinking about what i want to do after i grad.
8. Eeerrr start being more girl and wear dresses?

Talking about point 8, i was shopping at far east ytd and i couldnt find a single skirt/short/jeans that i like.
Reason being: The whole place was selling dresses. Tube dress, kimono dress blah blah blah.

Maybe. Just maybe. I should get 1 kimono dress. Plus! if i get dress i no longer haf to hunt for 2 piece clothes. Sounds good? Wahahas.

Oh. If i go off to UK next sem. I would have to spend my 21st birthday over there. RAR.My beloved subcomm + zQ
Not in Pic: Weiliang, lauren and Elizabeth

Ultraviolet

school started for a week now.
Nothing much have change other den this sem's CORE needs alot of practice.
and it doesnt help when my school doesnt provide any tutorials for CORE modules now. *FORCED independent learning*

Im loving FOOT more as the days draws nearer.
And i wun deny that im still learning.
Looking forward to all the plannings and recees that we have. love stirring shit about them and getting updates about their personal life and digging secrets out from ppl. hahas. they make me smile. Night cycling Recee next.. Cycle Cycle.
You. I saw the changes in you. Appreciate it and thanks for it. It makes me open up to you more easily. Now, what do i have to improve on?
Just watched Angus Thongs and perfect snogging. wahhaahs! the show is rather hilarious. most importantly, aaron johnson is hot ((:
ohoh. the song "Ultraviolet" by Stiff Dylans. you should check it out.

RAR. bf is still conducting a camp now. Hopefully, he enjoys himself. He said campfire was bad but i think he has too high of an expectation for himself. You are the best campfire emcee i have seen and know so far. Chill and relax. I believe it was the best for the kids ((: